I have been wanting to share this post for a long time, but struggled with the best ways to write it. Actually, it has sat as a draft on blogger for three months now. But, today I thought, #Time'sUp. Time to post it.

 The second instalment to #Time'sUp is about undervaluing and mistreating fathers. (See my last post on how this series began - 'Time's Up | Slavery') This is a delicate subject, but one that is very important to me.

   The job of raising a child is one of the most important in the world. You are raising a little human, who knows nothing, to become a neighbour, friend, and teaching them morals, values, and faith. It is by no means an easy job. But when you think of the most important person in a child's life, who do you think of?

  Most people would say that child's mother is the most important. Mothers are so important, there is no question about that. But when the importance of a father is brought up, people begin to change their tone slightly.

  The term deadbeat father is used freely, whereas deadbeat mother? Not very common. Fathers tend to be seen as the strict, harsh, controlling, and neglectful, where as mothers are caring, loving, kind, after all there's nothing like a "mother's love". In most quotes about narcissists and abusers, that are freely posted and shared on social media, these individuals are referred to as 'he' or 'him'.

  If a person does not see or speak to their father, people are sympathetic towards them, automatically assume the worst of the father, and are understanding. If a person does not speak to their mother, they are told to forgive, forget, and reminded of all the wonderful things their mother has done for them. After all, someone can live without their father, but not without their mother. Right?

  Single mothers or those with full custody of their children are praised, called brave, and made into heroes. Single fathers are not really taken that seriously, or considered special.

  Don't misunderstand me, none of this is trying to say that mothers are not important. But it addresses a double standard in society - and reinforces that fathers are just as important.

  Now, I want to dig deeper into something overlooked, ignored, and forgotten.

 Divorce is something that was once looked upon as shocking and saddening, but today is almost considered the "norm". Many times the divorce process goes smoothly, and fairly calmly. But, sometimes, it doesn't.

  There are many cases, in which things are very different. Case after case has been reported in which family courts are bias against fathers. It is preferable that custody of children go to their mothers, and fathers are considered less important in that child's life.

   And then of course, there's the "easy" way to gain sympathy, intimidate the other parent, have a "Biblical" reason for divorce, and hopefully win any court proceedings about custody. False allegations.

  Yes, the messy and sad issue that is swept under the carpet, and makes people cringe at the mention of it.

Abuse is such an important issue. It should be faced head on, and reported immediately. The children should be taken to safety when they are in danger.

But some people choose to play the system, for their own profit. And it isn't pretty. But it happens.

   I have personally heard police say that it is common for them to receive calls, making a claim which would make their spouse seem criminal, or try and stain their reputation. It happens, I've seen it. It's not just a myth spread by "meninists".

  Being fair, spending time working things out, and coming to a fair conclusion takes time, and some people just don't see it as worth that time. In most of the cases, fathers are the ones being targeted. Most of the time, people take the "guilty until proven innocent" stance. Even if the allegations are proven wrong, the slander has done its work, and people don't care what's right or wrong, because they feel they cannot trust that father anymore. One cannot simply undo their words. Once doubt has been planted in someone's mind, it is almost impossible to remove.

  Parents - whether mothers or fathers, who falsely accuse the other parent of abuse, show a disrespect for those who are actually going through abuse. They are taking up the valuable time of those who could be spending time investigating real cases of abuse.

  They show a disrespect for their children, not caring what their children say, and trying to silence and shame them into being quiet. When I see or hear about cases like this, I am disgusted by how the parent seems as though they would rather have their child being abused than not! When making up such stories one shows a disregard for their child's wellbeing, and an extreme amount of selfishness. There is no excuse for their behaviour.

  I could continue writing about this topic, but I think I have said enough.

  What can we to do to end this unfair treatment of fathers?

   Firstly, we should realize that fathers play a very important role in their child's life. They are not incapable of looking after children. They deserve respect.

   Secondly, we should be willing to admit that fathers deserve and equal right to their children, and that not all fathers are neglectful. I am so thankful to have my father in my life, for his strength, kindness, and how he has always been there to support me and make sure my voice is heard.

  Thirdly, we should never, ever, assume the "guilty until proven innocent" stance when allegations are taken up against them, especially during divorces.

 If we hear slander, we should go to the person being slandered against, and the children, and talk to them about it with an open mind.

 If uncomfortable with doing this, we should refuse to listen to the slander, and hold a completely unbiased view towards both parents, until the issue is resolved.

  Probably some of you are going to take my article wrong. I'm not saying all fathers are innocent. I'm not saying that all allegations are false. But I am saying, that there is a bias, and false allegations do occur.

 Also, please read the note below, which addresses the original topic of the #Time'sUp movement.

Note: * It is important that sexual harassment ends, and everyone is treated with respect. I have witnessed the way workplace harassment affects people, and how it is excused, ignored, and not taken seriously even in the 'Christian' community. This article doesn't mean to diminish that, just raise light on other issues that we need to say time is up on. *
   

 
   

   The "Time's Up" movement has gained momentum and attention in the past couple months.

   But, as I was thinking about the whole movement, I began to think of many, many, issues that Time should be Up on. Thus, the idea of a #Time'sUp series on my blog formed. (see note at the bottom)

   Slavery and human trafficking is the second largest illegal industry in the world.

   There are 45,800,000 slaves in the world today. 

  Every ten minutes a child or woman is trafficked into the United Sates. This problem is so prevalent in our society, yet so hidden.

    Most child slaves work seven days a week, are not paid, and every hour two children die while working.

   Slavery is present on every continent in the world. But several countries have mores slavery than others. India is the country with the most slaves in it, but North Korea is the world's largest single slave holder. In China over 70,000 children become slaves or fall into begging every year.

   Many industries use slavery, such as the coffee industry, the chocolate industry, the diamond industry, the fishing industry, the clothing industry, and the electronics industry. Factories and sweat shops in Indonesia, Japan, China, Pakistan, India, use slavery as well.  Conditions are horrible.

“It was like a prison, we were locked inside. We worked from 5 a.m. until midnight making carpets, and we slept among the machines” (Kumar, child labourer).

  Walmart, Starbucks, Victoria's Secret, Apple, Nestle, Gap, Disney, H&M, Forever 21, Toys R' Us, and many other companies are well known to use slavery. Despite promises to change things, none of them have made much difference.

   With more slaves worldwide than ever before, today is the time to say "Time's Up" on slavery. Such injustice and cruelty should not be allowed.

   What can we do to end it? Sign petitions, donate to organizations that fight to end slavery, raise awareness, and most importantly, boycott, limit, and be aware of what you are purchasing. If companies start losing dollars over their use of slaves, they will stop using them. Yes, you are only one person, but if everyone who doesn't do anything because they are "one person" did something, we would have a movement who can change things.

  Read where products are made, do research, try to buy locally, boycott companies in favour of fair-trade ones, and be aware. Here are some simple ideas to get you started.

•    Tell a friend about the prevalence of modern slavery.
•    Don't throw out/replace your old one just because it is "old", and a new one has come out.
•    Sign a petition at freedomunited.org
•    Share a post about slavery.
•    Boycott Walmart, or another company who uses slavery.

 It might seem drastic to boycott a company, or stop buying products that are made by slaves. But, it is more drastic to do nothing. If your child, sibling, parent, or friend was enslaved, made to work for no pay, exposed to dangerous chemicals and work practices, and abused, would you do nothing? The slaves are people, with families, and lives. Compared to what they go through, doing something simple to end slavery seems like a tiny sacrifice, don't you think?


 Note: * It is important that sexual harassment ends, and everyone is treated with respect. I have witnessed the way workplace harassment affects people, and how it is excused, ignored, and not taken seriously even in the 'Christian' community. This article doesn't mean to diminish that, just raise light on other issues that we need to say time is up on. *