For three years, I have been quiet. I didn't want to cause trouble, I didn't think it was the right time, and I didn't think anyone would believe me.
But I'm done being quiet, I refuse to be intimidated into silence anymore, and I'm ready to share my story.
Around three years ago, when I was fifteen, my mother left. There was no warning, no explanation, she was just gone and said she temporarily needed space. I was used to her being away, staying with my brother, housesitting, traveling for work, being away most of the time. But this ended up being different.
Shortly after she left, a friend called my dad and me and said that my mother had contacted him and told him that my dad was molesting me. It was a shock and I couldn't believe it.
I tried to talk to my mother about it, and she shut me down and denied ever saying such a thing. Over the next few weeks she had talked to friends and relatives all across Canada, the United States, and even in Africa. Neighbours started watching me and my dad. Old friends in town would avoid us, and my dad would get dirty looks behind my back.
Once I got over my shock, I decided I needed to do whatever I could to prove this wrong. First off I went and talked to our family doctor. Then I went and saw my brother. He was afraid to let me in at first, and had been told all sorts of stories that I hated him, dad hated him, and that dad was violent and would hurt him. We had a good long talk, later my dad joined us. That would be the last time I was able to have a real conversation with my brother.
When I got home he was already calling asking me to come back. While I was on the phone with him, my sister took his phone away from him, hung up, and blocked my number.
From that point on, my brother completely shifted and told me not to contact him again.
Child protective services were called on us a few days later. This time the accusations weren't just that I was being abused by my dad, but that I had sexually and verbally abused my older sister starting from when we were both young. The investigation was completed and the allegations were proven false. I came up with a plan of reconciliation for my mother and set some boundaries, the social worker told me they were very mature and reasonable.
To this day, my mother has never admitted to me that she was involved in this, or told any friends such things - although many friends confirmed that she did. Instead, she told me that it was sick and disturbing that I would ask her about it and called me disrespectful and negative for asking questions.
Throughout all this, only a couple close friends bothered to check in on me and listen to me, although many listened to and believed the gossip. My mother and sisters tried to completely silence me by saying that I was unreliable and being told what to say by my dad. Most people I tried to talk to about this would shut me down and say either that I was too young to understand, or that I wouldn't be talking about it if wasn't true. One time I called my oldest sister in tears, and after hearing me out she told me that I was reading a script written by my dad.
A few months later, my dad had a heart attack. The day he came home from the hospital, the phone calls started. My brother calling and telling me to get out of there, my sister calling non-stop at midnight telling me I was being gaslighted until I had to unplug the phone. The next day, my mother called the police on my dad, saying he had vandalized my brother's car. Of course, the police saw right through that. We were blamed when the police got upset about getting a false complaint.
The list of false allegations goes on and on, I don't have time to list them all, here are a few of the most ridiculous.
We vandalized their motorhome that had been moved to a mechanic's shop.
We were moving to Africa.
We don't eat any salt or oil.
No one can contact me, because my dad doesn't let them.
My dad has abandoned the family and refuses to talk to anyone.
When my sister Susan began questioning all this, she was quickly blocked and rumours were spread about her. Her children's grandparents were called and still continue to be called by my mother and told that Susan is a neglectful mother.
Fast forward to today. No contact for over two years, and happier than ever.
This is only a short summary of events. There is much more I could share, but I don't feel I need to at this time.
I am sick of threats and scare tactics being used against the people I care about. I am sick of being ignored and treated like a child who doesn't know anything when I am almost nineteen and a thoughtful, reasonable person. I am sick of not getting any credit for my words and actions. I am sick of being lied about. I am sick of people showing one face to the public, and another in private. I refuse to be the victim of a false narrative.
I cannot tell you people's motives and I cannot control what other people think, or stop people from spreading lies about me and those I care for, but I can tell you what I know has happened to me, and you can choose to believe it or not. Feel free to message me or ask me any questions you have.
This is my story.
UPDATE: It's been one month since I posted this, and I am so thankful for all the support I've received. There have only been a couple of negative responses - which is okay, but nothing from anyone mentioned in this article! People are allowed to believe what they want.
